Monday, June 15, 2009

The moment my fat girl cherry was popped

I wasn't always a fat girl for at least eight years of my life I was actually a skinny little thing, all elbows and knees. Then I got really sick with asthma and the doctors suggested that I go on a wonderful little drug called Prednisone. While Prednisone is very effective at relieving asthma symptoms it has one awful side effect, weight gain and gain I did. In the span of three months I gained about twenty five pounds and my face got swollen and puffy. So the skinny little girl was gone and what was left in place was a sick little puffy girl.

The kids at school had no idea what was going on with me. What eight year old can comprehend that the reason I was getting fat was because I was sick. All they saw was me getting bigger everyday and not being able to play with them anymore. They didn't understand that running hurt my chest or that rolling around in the mud might make me susceptible to a bad infection that my already weaken immune system couldn't handle. So instead of competing in hula hoop competitions or kick ball tournaments I was reading everything I could get my hands on and acting in the school play.

Up to this moment I had yet experienced what I like to call fat girl moment. A fat girl moment is when you realize just how fat you are either through your own recognition or someone being ever so kind to point it out to you. *insert sarcasm here* So my first fat girl moment came quite unexpectedly and was something straight out of those most embarrassing moments ever pages you see in most woman's magazines. Brace yourselves this is not a pretty moment.

I remember the day clearly just like most WWII vets can remember D-Day, most Baby Boomers can remember the day The Beatles performed on The Ed Sullivan Show, or the day the Berlin wall fell for most Gen X'ers. Yeah, I remember it that clearly. I have to say it probably is one of the most defining moments of my life. I remember it was raining that day because my teacher had to keep asking us to pay attention to the board and to stop looking out the window. I felt really sleepy because the sound of rain always makes me sleepy. We were doing math problems and my teacher asked me to come to the board. I can even remember the problem clearly 16 x 8 because I have never liked math and I was a little nervous going up to the board. As I approach the board I heard the class tittering, which made me even more nervous. I got the board, picked the chalk up, pressed it to the board and of course it broke apart and fell out of my hand on to the floor. I think you can see where I am going with this. My teacher tells me to bend down and pick up the chalk and when I do, my pants rip. That right folks my pants ripped right in front of my whole class.

While I was still bent down I heard it, my first fat girl moment, while the class was laughing someone shouted "Look at her fat ass". As I straighten back up I heard the teacher chastise the whole class and all could do was stand with my back to the class holding the chalk to the board. The teacher told me it was okay and that she would take me to the office to call my mom. What my teacher didn't know is I come from a proud people and I wasn't leaving that board until that problem was solved. So I stood up straight and got the business of solving the problem. The answer was 128 and all it took to get the answer was a pair of ripped pants and the lost of my fat girl innocence.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are not alone! I am a fat guy, who did the exact same thing, except this was in college, and the girl sitting immediately in front of where I was writing on the board was - believe it - my ex-girlfriend. You do not know what the word "humuliation" means until you do a complete belt-to-crotch pants split in front of your ex. She laughed until she almost fell out of her chair, and my face stayed red the rest of the day. On the other hand, dealing with that helped me immeasurably when I was chatting up a pretty girl at an outdoor party this past summer, and got so smitten by her that I wasn't apying attention to where I was, and I managed to stumble over a planter, and took a header into the pool.